Bad word count: 3
One of my biggest pet peeves is a girl playing dumb to flirt or just appear cute.
Maybe it’s because I love education but have such an impatience for stupid questions that hinder the flow of it.
I’ve always loved learning, but learning on my terms. Classrooms always made me so impatient, nothing went fast enough. If I want to learn about it, you can bet I’ll exhaust all avenues of its information until I have at least a nearly proficient knowledge of it.
That’s why, if you spend anytime staring at my bookshelves, you’ll find everything from a 1700 page book on the living cell to the Communist Manifestos (I&II) to a guide to atheism and a vast collection of historical fiction. If I want to know, damnit, I’ll find out.
Learning on my terms was -mostly- a really good thing for me while I was homeschooled. I don’t consider myself an exceedingly smart person. Smart, yes, but nothing special. I don’t have to. I know what I know, I know I don’t know everything, and I know I should never and can never stop learning. (try saying that 5x times fast) I’ve only met one other person who shared this sentiment, he said, “MM, do you ever want to tell someone that you’re not as smart as they think you are, you just know a little about a lot of things and it’s enough to impress people?” I’ve never heard anything more accurate. I know a little about a lot, a lot about several, but not as much as it may seem. But that’s a story for another day.
My pet peeve still stands.
I can understand being curious or needing to ask a seemingly silly question. We’ve all been there. Ask a question, you can act sheepish and a tad embarrassed, I don’t care about that.
But for the love of heaven, please, don’t make me sit through you twirling your hair and popping your gum and humming and hawing about something you already know the answer to.
It makes me want to throw things.
One of my friends is your average 20 something woman. However, she does this and I’ve never hated someone more and quicker than I did the first day she did it.
She works with a lot of men in a predominantly male workfield.
My girlfriend knows her stuff in her field and she’s got common sense (most of the time). She doesn’t need to play dumb. She can hold her own with no problem. However, she does not feel this way about herself. Her method of flirting involves a dumb look to be cute, tossing her head side to side like a puppy trying to understand, and lots of soft, Ohs. Sometimes she laughs and says “I don’t get that” When she understands perfectly. Men almost always find it cute and flirt back.
I can feel myself cringe and twitch every time she’s about to turn it on. It’s like I can sense it’s arrival.
But more importantly, HOW DO YOU DO THAT??
I can’t fathom selling myself THAT short around people. Obviously, her dating life reads like a who’s who of the “worst jerks ever” newsletter. If you act stupid for men they will assume you are and treat you accordingly. If a guy prefers a dumb girl, it usually means he’s not so bright either and doesn’t want anyone smarter than him. IMAGINE.
The level of stupid you can come in contact with will always amaze you. Truly, the depth to which that bar has been lowered is depressing. My grandmother used to say, “It’s not a sin to be ignorant. But it is to stay ignorant.” It may not be a sin to play ignorant but it sure as hell ought to be if you’re trying to entice someone with it.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out with this friend over the years and while smiling at a good looking guy, their attention is taken when she turns on her technique. I become invisible and guys find her so cute. We are nothing alike so I couldn’t possibly compare our attractiveness. I don’t expect a man to be captivated by me (although i just need one to be one day) but there’s no contest when it comes to asking which is evidently cuter, a women who knows what you’re talking about or one who needs you to tell her all about it.
Don’t get me wrong, in the long term, they’re going for the girl you jive with, who knows what you’re talking about, who can add to the conversation, who asks interesting questions, and desires to know more. On that note, if you find yourself with a man who treats you like you’re stupid, prove him wrong. Show him how smart you are by dumping his “smart” ass and being the smart one from there on out.
It’s the 21st century. Men and women have changed. Gone are the days of shallow requirements for a mate.
If she gave up this habit and created a newer, healthier one (one fit for couples outside of middle school) her entire dating life would be revolutionized, she’d even come out on top with a better self image no matter what.
But alas, talking to her has yielded an equally dumb denial. “But it works!”
“Yeah, until you start dating!”
All in all if you find you do this, I beg of you. Give it up. Please. For women everywhere.
The Mild Millennial
If you indeed think you are dumb, take the bull by the horns. No one is going to educate you. It’s up to you. Find something to learn and go after it. You don’t need to be pulling everyone else down around you wallowing in self pity.