Recently I’ve been battling a lot. Mother’s Day is always a rough week for me. (That’ll be my next post, stay tuned.) Feeling a little down in the corner of your heart tends to spread to the rest of you. So in honor of combating The Creeping Sad, I’ve found an expression of love that we all have to love. Let it encourage you. I’m not one for poetry. I hated writing them in school. But an expression like this is just so amazing.
If you don’t want to watch I have the trascript below.
(I should note, I wrote this out hitting enter with each pause he made. Enjoy)
To the girl who works at starbucks
down the street from my house on Del Mar Heights:
Swear to God I’m not a stalker.
When I asked you for a chai latte,
what I mean to say was
I was walking past
I saw you in the window
I came in here because I just
I just had to know what your voice sounded like
instead of saying that I got really nervous and ordered the first thing on the menu
I don’t even know what chai is
or a latte for that matter
I imagine that when God made you I bet he cussed for the first time
turned to an Angel
gave him a high-five
and said God damn I’m good
you are that beautiful
I spent the last 3 days trying to figure out how
I’m going to introduce myself to you properly.
I finally figured it out it’s going to be something like
That’s all I got so far
but I think it’s a good start
I’m gonna be honest
It’s not often that I find myself eager to write about love
In fact every time I try to write about love my hands cramp
Just to show me how painful love can be
Sometimes my pencils break
just to prove to me that every now and then
love takes a little more work than you planned.
I heard that “love is blind” so I write all my poems in Braille
And my poems never actually finish because true love is endless.
I’ve always believed that real love is kind of like a supermodel before she’s airbrushed
It’s pure and imperfect just the way that god intended
I’m gonna be honest, I’m not much of a love poet
But if I was to wake up tomorrow morning and decide that I was really gonna write about love
My first poem
would be about you
About how I loved you the same way I learned how to ride a bike:
with no training wheels or elbow pads so my scars can tell the story of how i fell for you
I’m gonna be honest
I’m not much of a love poet.
But if I was I’d write about how I see your face in every cloud
and reflection in every window
you see I’ve written a million poems
hoping that somehow
hoping that some way
maybe you’ll jump out of the page
and be closer to me
because if you were right now,
I would massage your back
until you skin sings songs that your lips
don’t even know the words to.
Until your heartbeat sounds like my last name
and you smile like the Pacific Ocean
and I wat to drink the sunlight in your skin
If i was a love poet
I’d write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful
even on days when everything around you is ugly.
I’d write about your eyelashes
and how they are like violin strings that play symphonies
every time you blink.
If I was a love poet I’d write about how I
melt in front of you like an ice sculpture
ever time I hear the vibration of your voice and
whenever I see you name on the caller ID
my heart plays hopscotch inside of my chest,
It climbs onto my ribs like monkey bars
and I feel like a child all over again.
I know this is gonna sound weird but sometimes
I pray that god somehow turns you back into one of my ribs
just so I would never have to spend an entire day without you
But I swear
I’m usually not a love poet
But if i was to wake up tomorrow morning
and decide that I was to write
My first poem
Would be about you
After all of that she was like “But how do you feel about me?”
And I said, “We’ll put it like this: I
want to be your ex- boyfriend’s stuntman,
I want to do everything he had the courage to do like
That when our lips touch I can taste the next 60 years of my life
See last night
I had a dream
In this particular dream
I died in my dreams
Awoke not knowing i was still asleep and decided to walk
You see that night i walked in my sleep.
I slept in my walk
I walked backwards until I saw you for the first time
And i could barely muster the courage to introduce myself all over again
you see I’ve been trying to find the right words
I’ve been trying to take the right steps
– what seems to me like like thousands of years but something
see something always seems to go wrong between us.
We live in Egypt
I was the pharaoh’s slave,
you were his daughter,
loving you led to my death.
They claimed i seduced you
and after they stole my life
I was resurrected as a mason.
I made the foundation for your house.
We met eyes for two seconds.
You left and I didn’t see you again until I died.
I came back as a caterpillar,
I turned into a butterfly,
I landed in the palm of your hands.
You brushed me away
and the rejection killed me.
When I awoke I was a kick drum
you were a snare.
We were both owned my this drummer names Cox COle
and when he died, so did we.
but I came back just to look for you.
I left notes in random places,
hoping that you would stumble across them.
I carved out names in trees
and then prayed that it would jog your memory.
I whispered your name in the wind
maybe some way
my voice would reach you
but it didn’t and i died.
I died early.
I died young with bread crumbs
in my hands just hoping that you would find me
but you never did
so they buried me
when they did they put these coins over my eyes
and I used them as bus fare to get back to earth
just so i could look for you
Sometimes when we hold hands
every so often
I hold on a little too tight
I just don’t want to lose you again
My mother told me, when you find the perfect woman
You gotta do whatever it takes to make sure she stays next to you
The Mild Millennial