The Truth About Being Single

Well ok, there are so many truths.

This is another post on the cycle we all go through. Remember the one ? This one

Being single doesn’t mean blissfully shrugging off everything that doesn’t go your way. As much as we want to do that, we can’t. Thats the mood I find myself in at the moment.  As fun as singleness is, sometimes its just a downer and there’s no way around it.

You know what I miss about a relationship?

I miss waking up to heartfelt good morning texts.

I miss the “I love you”s. The stiffled moments before confessing it, where you think it escapes you with every breath.

I miss someone anxiously waiting to call or facetime me.

I miss sharing things and laughing at them with someone who completely understands.

I miss being wanted in simple, small innocent ways.

I miss being chosen over other things.

I miss someone having my back.

I miss the coach in my corner, and the cheerleader on my sideline.

I miss smiling at beautiful text messages that were sent just because.

I miss feeling protected.

I miss someone being excited about the things that excite me.

I know full well that I’m worth all these things. I ‘m not saying I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I’ll get them.  I’m not guaranteed a mate.

I’m not saying its not coming either- I don’t know for sure that it is though.

With each passing month I dread the pain of a broken heart more.

I don’t miss the tears.

I don’t miss the week or two of silence/ distance guys do ( you girls know the lead up week to a break up.)

I don’t miss the broken heart.

I don’t miss the sinking feeling of just…knowing.

I don’t miss the shock of the unexpected breakup.

I don’t miss wondering if I was too much.

I don’t miss the boss up stage where I dry my tears but don’t have a healed heart.

I don’t miss the issolating tunnel we all go through watching friends jump into new blessings 2 or 3 times over while I start to wonder if I’m missing something.

I don’t miss the panic I feel when I see risk in a date prospect.

I don’t miss the broken trust, the betrayed feelings.

I don’t miss the vulnerable feeling of wondering if I was wrong to open up.

 

This may all sound awfully dramatic- but its a real feeling. A mood! I feel secure in me- like I love to showcase and encourage on here. But that doesn’t mean I can’t miss those great things I had.

It doesn’t mean I don’t in some way still look within and worry for my volcanic heart that simultaneously wants a solid, loving embrace and to protectively keep everyone at a distance.

Love&Hugs

The Mild Millennial