Well ok, there are so many truths.
This is another post on the cycle we all go through. Remember the one ? This one
Being single doesn’t mean blissfully shrugging off everything that doesn’t go your way. As much as we want to do that, we can’t. Thats the mood I find myself in at the moment. As fun as singleness is, sometimes its just a downer and there’s no way around it.
You know what I miss about a relationship?
I miss waking up to heartfelt good morning texts.
I miss the “I love you”s. The stiffled moments before confessing it, where you think it escapes you with every breath.
I miss someone anxiously waiting to call or facetime me.
I miss sharing things and laughing at them with someone who completely understands.
I miss being wanted in simple, small innocent ways.
I miss being chosen over other things.
I miss someone having my back.
I miss the coach in my corner, and the cheerleader on my sideline.
I miss smiling at beautiful text messages that were sent just because.
I miss feeling protected.
I miss someone being excited about the things that excite me.
I know full well that I’m worth all these things. I ‘m not saying I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I’ll get them. I’m not guaranteed a mate.
I’m not saying its not coming either- I don’t know for sure that it is though.
With each passing month I dread the pain of a broken heart more.
I don’t miss the tears.
I don’t miss the week or two of silence/ distance guys do ( you girls know the lead up week to a break up.)
I don’t miss the broken heart.
I don’t miss the sinking feeling of just…knowing.
I don’t miss the shock of the unexpected breakup.
I don’t miss wondering if I was too much.
I don’t miss the boss up stage where I dry my tears but don’t have a healed heart.
I don’t miss the issolating tunnel we all go through watching friends jump into new blessings 2 or 3 times over while I start to wonder if I’m missing something.
I don’t miss the panic I feel when I see risk in a date prospect.
I don’t miss the broken trust, the betrayed feelings.
I don’t miss the vulnerable feeling of wondering if I was wrong to open up.
This may all sound awfully dramatic- but its a real feeling. A mood! I feel secure in me- like I love to showcase and encourage on here. But that doesn’t mean I can’t miss those great things I had.
It doesn’t mean I don’t in some way still look within and worry for my volcanic heart that simultaneously wants a solid, loving embrace and to protectively keep everyone at a distance.
The Mild Millennial
5 thoughts on “The Truth About Being Single”
I miss those first list items too and I’m married!!! I think over time, even people in marriages find themselves feeling alone. I know I do. And a lot of men don’t understand how to communicate or how simple things are big things to women. I notice the distance, the silence. Even if you married someone who seemed loving, caring, and supportive, it’s easy to have life problems darken the door to your marriage. Suddenly you are dealing with depression or anxiety and they don’t want to bother you with it even though I’m over here like “hey, this is my jam!” ugh it’s so hard. I want to cry with you but not because I’m single… I don’t know your pain exactly but because I feel like marriage is so much work with so little reward. I keep fighting for something beautiful but maybe that will never come.
I have to like me and keep rooting for myself. I hope you do the same. ❤️❤️
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Yes. A marriage is its own bucket of new needs and issues I can’t even imagine. I’m happy I’m not trying to handle that at this point in my life- even though I say its lonely over here! 😉 I like my solitude, but I do miss the companionship.
That’s understandable. (((hugs)))
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Reblogged this on JACKIE LEA SOMMERS and commented:
All of this.
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I feel you too! So many feels about this post. Thanks for writing this.