Well ok, there are so many truths.
This is another post on the cycle we all go through. Remember the one ? This one
Being single doesn’t mean blissfully shrugging off everything that doesn’t go your way. As much as we want to do that, we can’t. Thats the mood I find myself in at the moment. As fun as singleness is, sometimes its just a downer and there’s no way around it.
You know what I miss about a relationship?
I miss waking up to heartfelt good morning texts.
I miss the “I love you”s. The stiffled moments before confessing it, where you think it escapes you with every breath.
I miss someone anxiously waiting to call or facetime me.
I miss sharing things and laughing at them with someone who completely understands.
I miss being wanted in simple, small innocent ways.
I miss being chosen over other things.
I miss someone having my back.
I miss the coach in my corner, and the cheerleader on my sideline.
I miss smiling at beautiful text messages that were sent just because.
I miss feeling protected.
I miss someone being excited about the things that excite me.
I know full well that I’m worth all these things. I ‘m not saying I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I’ll get them. I’m not guaranteed a mate.
I’m not saying its not coming either- I don’t know for sure that it is though.
With each passing month I dread the pain of a broken heart more.
I don’t miss the tears.
I don’t miss the week or two of silence/ distance guys do ( you girls know the lead up week to a break up.)
I don’t miss the broken heart.
I don’t miss the sinking feeling of just…knowing.
I don’t miss the shock of the unexpected breakup.
I don’t miss wondering if I was too much.
I don’t miss the boss up stage where I dry my tears but don’t have a healed heart.
I don’t miss the issolating tunnel we all go through watching friends jump into new blessings 2 or 3 times over while I start to wonder if I’m missing something.
I don’t miss the panic I feel when I see risk in a date prospect.
I don’t miss the broken trust, the betrayed feelings.
I don’t miss the vulnerable feeling of wondering if I was wrong to open up.
This may all sound awfully dramatic- but its a real feeling. A mood! I feel secure in me- like I love to showcase and encourage on here. But that doesn’t mean I can’t miss those great things I had.
It doesn’t mean I don’t in some way still look within and worry for my volcanic heart that simultaneously wants a solid, loving embrace and to protectively keep everyone at a distance.
The Mild Millennial